I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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