are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize