Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think my fart just growled at me.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
