yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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