as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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