I just saw a hot homeless man
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
