You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
