She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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