I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize