i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
