yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
