since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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