At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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