: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
