so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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