he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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