come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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