Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize