I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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