Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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