I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
