...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
