You're so nebulous sometimes
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
one might say we're banned from that church
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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