hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
