how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
