playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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