I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
