he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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