It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
