glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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