You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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