can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
