Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
