Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
