Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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