kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
