just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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