You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
