the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
