HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
