I bet he comes in French.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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