Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Barsexuality is the new black.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
