Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
