people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
