Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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