It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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