She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
