so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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