whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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