would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
