This girl is more easily done than said...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
