Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
