hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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