I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
