I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
