I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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