Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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