We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
