I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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