I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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