dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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