im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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