as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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