Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
